Archive for October, 2009

An Interesting Tone of Sincerity…


18 Oct

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I am a big aficionado of simple sincerity. Though, at times, I am unable to perform completely; I have performance anxiety when I, during said times, find myself in a situation when I wish I could be honest but the conditions are not affable for such honesty.

But right now

Isn’t it enigmatic: being in love with a woman that you loath yourself for loving? Having the constant motion of inconsequential voices drift along past the perimeter of your attentive listening, telling you how you should move on, find someone new – yourself knowing fully well that that’s sound advice, deftly true, but also simultaneously knowing that though you acknowledge their astuteness – you are completely unable to take their advice. There is no moving on. You love her. She has plagued you across centuries, she has become the virus in your veins and there is no cure. You drink, you smoke, you watch some baseball – but she’s somewhere in the vicinity of your psyche glimmering.

I hate when I feel like this. When I can’t write; when there’s nothing but a buzz floating around the brain. Coffee, shower, work, nightcap elixir in infinite repetition.

Sometimes I’m left wondering whether there have been solutions discovered for the ones lovelorn: where is the be-all-end-all catholicon?! Because there have been so many an example given through-out the coarse course of pop-culture: through film, literature and other various artistic mediums. Where is the one example which culminates with a real answer – or at least a hypothetical antidote meant to be tinkered with, experimented unto perfection until it can sold to the public…

FUCK!!! Fuckety fuck fuck

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… pt. I


16 Oct

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Woke up today with a masculine hangover.

Soon enough it will be time to smoke a joint, when I’m ready to roll over, call a couple people and cancel some plans for today – until later tonight. First Angels/Yankees game!

I love this city – but sometimes… it’s too accessible for commiseration.

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Jack Tsoy Tumult

Morose Pontifications and Other Poetic Ramblings


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