Clustering Regret

25 Jun

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Clustering Regret

 

A comfortable numbness produces no more work than was expected

just a sentence of promises comforted by ellipses and a Rum and Coke

and somewhere there it begins to feel like a cleverly enameled effigy burning

and a crowd is gathering to stare at all the various embellishment

and the smoke gets in your eyes and hair

because it’s just like any other show

like a bitch in heat with money like mewling in the jaws

like an unexplained sorrow to promote some demonstrative, sensitive genuineness

that was already paid for

and there are no more poems to write about a girl that doesn’t pen her letters to me anymore

just a new set of eyes and lips to bathe with in the old bathtub, with the gray bathwater and the familiarly sweet bath soap that smelled like your taste, in my old, shabby bathroom likely cunningly conceived to last by some punctual HUD employee collecting an equitable wage through his compiled W-9s in his own sordid hell

which reminds me of nothing much

except maybe when we shared our last drink on the late night 2 train to Penn Station

watching out for cops and voyeurs  

and you seemed prepared for a longer goodbye than I was willing to give

and you fell asleep on my shoulder

and I fell asleep beside you because it seemed better than a future without the luster of your urbane seduction strangling a dream from my languished form

and you missed your connection

and we ended up in Brooklyn

and I took you back home and you weren’t disappointed

because

A comfortable numbness produces no more love than can be exhausted

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Jack Tsoy Tumult

Morose Pontifications and Other Poetic Ramblings


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