Posts Tagged ‘Sobering Verse’

On My New York Shit…


16 May

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Q52: a short lyric

 

they haven’t touched the bridge in over eighty years

that’s why

after the hurricane snuck in

the trains don’t run over it no more

you have to take the bus across Cross Bay

and in those thirty minutes that you have

after waiting in the cold huddling in around you

you’ll sit on a hard and angry seat

watching the world like a weary guest:

the old Russian women talking too loudly on the phone

that they barely know how to operate

in a language that all other passengers

but me

do not understand

and after the call is done

before the next appointments are to be made

their bodies will tenderly convulse

because the nearly dead are made to dance

for our forced mocking sympathy and our amusement like the dole

the men that stand pace anxiously

in the two step space that they’re allotted

before a workday becoming prison

leaves them slumped along the railing springing  

like the wheels below along cement

the pimply adolescents and their pockmarked older siblings

read books they were assigned

while futile anger and frustration rages in digitized decibels

from their headphones

the aging allochthonous junkies who still make the trip

have come to pay their servile and pitiful respect

to scions of their old connects

from stories of seventies’ glory days

when shooting galleries replaced alleyways

and the cops didn’t have to pretend not to give a shit

the young and pretty neighborhood girls

they’re sitting, waiting, too

crosslegged and small and nearly blue

or gold, sometimes I cannot tell

because despite our same path here every day

we have all been detached, completed, from ourselves

these people just like me

are all I do not know too well

but try to meagerly

because this ride is the same one along which I’ll return

until the bridge is fixed

and we aren’t broken

lonely anymore

 

(for Claudia Rankine)

————–

Still Here, You Know Where I Am


11 Apr

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———-

Rust in Light and Who We Are

 

Even though I do not believe in it

pray for me

because

in a few hours

I’m going to have to return

as a prisoner

to her.

She won’t be kind to me

I know it

she never was before.

She listened to my poetry

but each time

after every verse recited

she felt it less and less

but always found something clever to respond with.

It will be dusk

moonshine in the bathtub turning into night

I’ll shake and shiver like a cockcrow heavy glass  

and worry about knocking on her door

which I know she’ll answer

wearing nothing but one of my old shirts

buttoned across her heart

and young breasts that sit as wisely as monks

weary and waiting to walk Elysian Fields.

 

She’ll laugh when asking where I’ve been.

 

The only son of daydreams

hiding from any resemblance

like a child does from a bedtime

I’ll reply

that I was cruising through the past

screaming across the span of emptiness

that drew a breath

the first time I found

the taste that was her lips.

She’ll lead me to her bed

and watch as I undress

she’ll make me feel golden

for an hour

for a day

for a brief lifetime in a ragged book or two

and then

there’ll be nothing more

but a faint afterglow colored amber

an early parole

into a newly unrecognizable terrene

which remembers every timid silence in its earth

and wonders out loud

why is it I blush?

———-

For the Sake of Levity


23 Mar

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———–

Smoking a Joint at a Funeral

 

This is going to be light.

We were all moderately upset

we expected it

but always a few days later.

Jules and I stayed to the side,

I lit it

listening to the eulogy –  

the black preacher was good:

I thought about booking him for later

the week is long –

everyone could use a good speech to send them off to rust.

Even Martha came

she was always Jimmy’s favorite

she took a hit

paid her respects

didn’t look the mother in the eye.

Greenwood cemetery looks lovely in this insouciant light,

the oaks casting a rash of shadows

across the lawn and gravel

like an early plague of beauty.

Boils, flowers and the like.

No death, not here.

A blurred boundary,

not really, but pick your poison.

I took a hit and passed it back to Jules,

she followed suit

and we stayed quiet for the rest of the service

waiting to pass.  

From A Different Hitchhiker All Together


24 Feb

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Jimmy, Who Found Dinner

 

When,

New York had places

to which you could only get to

by service elevators

Jimmy carried a lot of dollar bills

swaddled by a thick yellow rubber band

and he sneered

at the businessmen

who wore ties

at four in the afternoon

when the sun couldn’t make up its mind

and a drink was close by

in the cherubic robes

of a Times Square dancer

who Jimmy fell in love with

as soon as the street lamps

called out to the dawn

which came a fleeting decade later

in warm ephemera

winking

and found Jim

across his bathroom floor

at a dusty single room of the Belvedere

which ate men who thought themselves adventurous

who thought little of immortality

a monster not daring enough

to waste the day on

because each moment seemed too late

running comatose

through birth and death and a tip at the end of the night

when solace can’t be found

under the awning of old buildings

build by Carnegie and other noble crooks

who knew that serving time

in quiet steel

was all us damned could dream of:

no people,

not anymore

———–

Hunting the Haunted


12 Feb

————

————

Saturday on the Bowery in 1982

 

Wearing his torn Joy Division shirt

he was stabbed in the gut with a golden shiv

his hair fell across his brow, tangled, amber

and then he slouched

grabbed his stomach

and tried to walk away

but they wouldn’t let him go

he was fumbling in the wrong direction

and they wanted to ensure that he got home

where he would find his vodka condensing in worried beads

shivering in the freezer  

eager to welcome him with a searing gulp

and a hug across the open wound

so they grabbed his shoulders

ensnaring, each one took a side

and they led him to where he was wanted

where he was supposed to go

after last call

and they reminded him

that “generally, even Isadora Duncan is only known for breaking her neck”

it won’t hurt much

until the drink turns to an opalescent promise

and the colors begin to laugh

like synesthesia growing senescent

but it’s all alright

because it all becomes

as long as you have friends

who’ll stab you in the front

and then walk you home

whistling the guitar line of “She’s Lost Control”

humming along

as the stubborn night creaks with condonation

 ——

Fiction, Surely


29 Jan

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———–

Cheated Early to Win

 

I used to read books

but now I burn them

for warmth and for bitterness

that I miss from your absence

Dante, unabridged, in the original Italian, burns best

 

I used to drink heavy

but now I drink light as a halo in a NyQuil stupor

for forgetting and lack of else to do

a want of proper inspiration

“how thrilling it would be to see you small and naked in my palm”

 

I used to think about the future

but now I fear another day (and barely think at all)

for its coldness is transposed through a meaningless twitter feed

that forces an apology for missing funerals and Facebook updates

despite that it’s all pretty much the same

 

you’ve got to cheat early just to win

and I’m not ready yet

for all of that

———

When Culture Staples a Cease-and-Desist Letter to your Forehead


31 Jul

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A Poetaster’s Critique

 

Literature is going to die like jazz

as the smoky whisper of maladroit fingers culling

with only a small middleclass white audience

to adjust

to mourn the loss as fetishists

caressing the binding leather blistering their minds

inspiration deacetylated from creation to form that

syrupy

narcotic

daft

nebulose

narcissistic

totemic maggots in the brain without the funk

a retching bitch in the alley cold

6-Monoacetylmorphine for those that treat a Real Housewives marathon on Bravo

like a lecture from Spalding Gray

but, fuck it, the analgesic warms the workday of the dead

Coltrane, Davis, Parker – gone

The New York Times 10 Best “Books” of 2012 list can give me a sloppy rimjob

because it doesn’t matter anymore

we’re in the intellectual fading dawn at this point

and the day draws quickly

as it did on the New Wavers that danced to old Suicide records, without any irony in the

glittery glam 80’s,

in moody, nebbish polyester soon to be plaid rebellion

blinking in Morse code like impotent oracles:

W E  W E R E  N E V E R  S P E C I A L

but at least we used to think rudderlessly

with a direction everywhere

a new dull beauty to explore in innocent latency

but these inelegant fingers that took the bone from its case

are reaching for all the same notes that were played before

better in the all-too-apologetic, retrospective nostalgia

(comma)

when poverty used to mean something

besides a funeral march to

smiling apathy

 ———–

Vamos


28 Jun

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Congratulations to rationality – the Supreme Court’s 5 – 4 logical decision to uphold the constitutionality of the Obama Health Care bill. Cheers!

 ———–

———-

Nietzsche Sees a Horse

 

I’m smoking hash from a paperclip

in the dry heat of Arizona

with my friend Jose

singing that Ben Quayle can suck our merry dick

until the paranoia gets to us

and we drive to grab a twelve pack of Modelo

in his agriculture covered Ford pick-up

with the Pixies playing on the tape deck  

and the sun is fine and red like socialism in a warped mind

and the heat is a contagion spreading

and each conjunction becomes a Hemingwayan syndication

and we yell along with the music playing:

 

Estaba pensando sobre viviendo con mi sister en New Jersey,

 Ella mi dijo que es una vida buena alla,

 Bien rica bien chevere, Y voy! Puñeta!

 

And we are all going a little crazy as we should

because the mind is as fragile as we know

and nothing really means a thing

because we’ll roast a pig tonight

and tomorrow, tomorrow

I’ll take my flight roughly after waking up next to Maria in the morning

and her brother will drive me to the airport

and I’ll see New York again in a different way

again

and the French statue that tourists line for like food stamps

will mean something new

a radical freedom that our capital lethargy forgot

 

We’ll keep well bred,

 We’ll stay well fed,

 We’ll have our sons,

 They will be all well hung…

————-

 

A New Poem Like the Old Poems


08 Jun

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A friend of mine has been going through a rough time with his girl, so I wrote this to cheer him up a bit. It came out similar to some older pieces, but still good enough to warrant sharing.

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Another Honest Imitation of Paradise

 

He said it like he was the first to say it honestly

I no longer love

I drink

and the audience applauded

and they bought him more drinks after the show, both brown and clear ones

and a few girls came home with him for a disappointing story

and they woke up next to a pallid heap of flesh that smelled of stale tobacco

and other poetry

and he gallantly made them cheap coffee that was undercover as an import

and then he hid another drink underneath his breath

and then he walked them to the door like a general surrendering  

and then he sat in front of his typewriter as though a praying casualty, like death in neon  

and he thought about his words

I no longer love

I drink

He wrote like a man too used to hiding behind the shadows of his women

———-

 

The “Working” Writer Finds Himself Cool, Sober and Nearly Broke


17 May

————

A very peculiar clip I recently discovered: some strange, circus-like, Greek band covered/adapted one of my favorite Bukowski poems (“To the Whore Who Took My Poems“).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DogBVN7wTJ4

———–

Jack Gravely Makes Yet Another Remark About Dylan Thomas in a Long Sentence Written in a Relative Daze While Smoking the Last of his Cigarettes

 

The dogs weep with craven bellies

then contort in deathly quietude before my feet

like an Aimee Mann song whimpering across a film soundtrack, or

like broken ramparts belying sanctuary antithetically to an unending siege that plods along dully and purposelessly like the wrath of a god waking from a lengthy dormancy with a hangover and no Tylenol in His medicine drawer.

The dogs see me as the amalgamation of all minor tragedies

that are whispered like the cycling sands upon the shores of furious dreams

We play softer now because the noise has become an affront to our aesthetic

it’s much too effortless like a drunk phone call to a spurned lover

and my mind is having plenty of conversations with itself –

as was the line in the short film that revealed my madness –

adapted melodramatically from my lived-in novel whose baby teeth have apparently all fallen out and caused a tantrum because the fairy never snuck a nickel under its pillow

There used to be a girl that smelled like Zenax and danced like a Tom Waits dirge that made the punctuation flourish

and made the plethora of ephemera of all of it so majestically imperative

instead of forgiving me this mashing up of one-liners for the sake of starved wit.

(I need a new fucking editor.)

But then,

when I joined the dogs and judges,

and we, with pouted, weather-beaten lips

cried withdrawn against the call of death with such a passionless abandon, it made me amplify monolithically about the rambling Welshman yet again…  

smothered as I was by the past like an explanation for recidivism finding me at another court date.

He drank a lot of whiskey too, but wrote better than I did.  

The dogs, the ones who weep with craven bellies

with no heritage to speak of or to blame

are dressed in funereal rags

they gnaw on an old sneaker hidden like the omphalos of universal truth inside my closet

and they coo about you

when they can

about how your hair looked like someone mixed coal with stardust on a lark

about how your smile was sulfuric when a cruelty enticed you

and how I was fucked, fevered and slightly mad whenever I dared to look for longer than was my allotted time (the red light flashing)

Their howling eventually becomes the sound of my own mouth retching itself clean of a wretched soul; once varicolored and sentimental – now just a quasijocose shade that entertains at hourly rates with old jokes and recycled references:

a cavorting shadow without equal that reminds

that all old dogs eventually die without their supper.

———–

Jack Tsoy Tumult

Morose Pontifications and Other Poetic Ramblings


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